The Tallest Tree

Today’s poetic take on the blog will be written from an altogether different perspective. In hope of being able to understand my son better, I would like to share in poetic form, just what life is like for a young child with Autism.

The Tallest Tree

In the shadows of the forest, hidden between the tallest tree,
Therein I stand, sheltering myself from the world that surrounds me,
Confused and withdrawn, visibly shaken, clearly perturbed,
Lashing out, grunting, screaming without uttering a word,
The birds sing, the bees buzz, rabbits scuttle about,
The world seems oblivious to my chaos and lingering doubt,
I try to understand the things I see as I withdraw into complete isolation,
Yet the world continues to gnaw at me, with every single sensation,
What hope can there be, when the essence of normality,
Arises within me, a terrifying duality…

I am but two under the premise of one,
ranging between guises of peace and a loaded gun,
Impossible for me it is to see, the difference between the sounds,
The echoes just seem to draw closer, as fear immediately surrounds,
Panic sets, violence follows as rage will ensue,
Leading to actions and moments I’ll later rue,
Inside there is chaos, a loss of all sense, a loss of control,
The anger, the frustration, the beast inside me has swallowed me whole…

None can understand why I hide beneath the tree,
Why the silence prevails and the voice remains inside of me,
It’s hard to formulate from thought to word,
When I find myself unsure of which conversation I first heard,
Instead I am judged, labelled as naughty when I “misbehave”,
So I try to be good, I try to be brave,
But fears return, stronger than they were once before,
Rage builds up, my body shakes and I lose control once more,
Why can’t they see? Why can’t they understand?
All I wish, all I desire, is to simply be taken by the hand,
To be told that all will be well,
To be set free, from my terrifying personal hell…

So under the tallest tree I remain,
Hidden from the chaos of this mortal plane,
Crouched in a ball, head in my hands,
Escaping the whispers that lay within the sands,
The slightest sound, the slightest stray thought,
emotions will swirl, a whirlwind of chaos, in which I’m continually caught,
Please do not judge, merely based on what you see,
For if you do so, you will miss the beauty that lies hidden inside of me…

Written by: The Raven – 22/01/15 ©

Thank you for taking the time to read this, and I hope that it will in time give us a better understanding of the trials faced by those, like my son, who are Autistic.

The Raven

sniper kitty

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3 thoughts on “The Tallest Tree”

  1. Pingback: Autism. | NaraTae

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