When Shadows Fall.

It has been quite a while since I last waxed poetic so I thought for once I would give voice to the darker thoughts that lurk beneath the surface of my soul, hopefully It will provide you all an insight into just some of the things I’ve been through throughout the years. Hope you enjoy it.

The Raven

When Shadows Fall

The blood moon rises high above my head,
And here I walk amongst the land of the dead,
Surrounded by stones and graves,
Virtuous solace, freed from the huddle of societal slaves,
Footsteps echoing in the silence of night,
As I skulk in the shadows, avoiding the light,
Ironic that I find comfort in an empty mausoleum,
Instead of being a gladiator in my own coliseum..

For too long have I fought to stand tall,
To hear the adulation of the crowd as the echo begins to fall,
Faint praise and distant platitudes,
Enough over the years to constantly adjust attitudes,
Vanish dreams and chase away all hope,
For worlds crashing down are too much for my shoulders to cope,
Born upon me, are secrets of the past best left forgotten,
A pestilence upon my soul, forever made rotten,
Trying to deal with abuse felt in the past,
Whilst wondering aloud whether my sanity will last…

Swords in hand I stand tall upon the blood and sand,
Unleashing a visceral scream as I make my last stand,
A warrior, primed and ready for battle,
Forever feeling drained like a headless cattle,
It’s odd to explain the pain within,
When for years you’ve been told your every action is a sin,
Always trying to be good, always trying to be holy,
Quietly fearing that my descent into hell began slowly,
Chained I feel by the abuse of my past,
Able to grow, but forever an outcast…

So much anger lies within me for the harm that has been done,
I’ve committed no crime yet I’m forever on the run,
Too hard to face up to the darkness that lies below,
So my anger and frustration continues to grow,
For years I’ve wished for relief to the pain,
But it’s hard to find relief when the words are etched in your brain,
I try to speak up and get it all out,
When the words formulate, I begin to doubt,
And remain silent, much to my discontent,
Trying to avoid laying more sorrows for my family to lament,
There has been enough pain, enough strife,
Yet I cannot hide the impact the silence has had on my life…

In the coliseum I stand tall,
Eerily silent as the shadows fall,
Blinded I am by the light that seeps in,
For a moment I revel in it and become king,
The light begins to burn and once again I feel a pauper,
Reminded of past sins eternally improper,
The slings and arrows begin to fall,
And in the end, the warrior no longer stands tall…

Once again, my eyes open, and In the mausoleum I stand,
Hands clasped together, completely covered in sand,
My eyes adjust to the light so dim,
As I glance to the blood moon and smirk on a whim,
My cowl masks most of my face,
Feeling like a warrior from ancient Thrace,
A Servile revolt between my soul and mind,
In a war of attrition to see who can bind,
The thoughts that lie within,
To see who amongst the chaos can be king…

I ascend out of the crypt and onto a path,
Internally filled with confusion and wrath.
Loathing and frustration directed purely at my own mind,
For my eyes can see yet I’m constantly, perennially blind,
Never clear when or If I will ever speak out,
But certain that I will not whisper but shout,
A desire for vengeance and hatred remains within me,
Yet never will I give into such thoughts, for they cannot be,
Incapable I am of hatred, either to feel it or to yearn,
No matter just how much vengeance burns,
I’m better than that, I know it to be true,
And no matter how much it frustrates me, I have forgiven you,
I haven’t forgotten the pain, for I carry it within,
A faithful reminder, for your years of sin,
One day the truth will be out, and your fear will take hold,
For the untold secret, will now get to be told,
But until then, a gladiator amongst the graves I remain,
With your actions forever etched into my brain,
Follow the buzzards and find me, in the coliseum,
Or surrounded by darkness and ravens in the mausoleum,
Be certain however, and let one thing be absolutely clear,
When you find me, there shall be no emotion, no fear,
Just a warrior standing tall,
Ready to fight, when shadows fall…

Written by The Raven-  23/03/2015 ©

sniper kitty

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